Every year in January, I like to set the theme or pick a goal that becomes my focus for the year. Most of the time it was work related, but this year both work and personal have collided. My theme this year is reinvention of the spirit.....just reinvention of almost every aspect of my life.


       As I head closer to the time of retirement which is mind boggling to begin with as I never thought I'd ever get that old....well surprise...I did....it is now time to get a grip and figure out who I am, where I'm going and renew my spirit...as currently I'm not really fond of who I am.




       For years people kept trying to get me to quit smoking....so I did....and I do not at the present like who I have become. I did not realize the personality change that would occur without my cigarettes. First if I analyze why I smoked I guess you could say that it helped me cope. Cope with life, stress, kids, work you name it. It was my 5 minutes of alone time. I always knew it was unhealthy, I knew it made me stink, I knew it kept people at a distance. I guess that is what I liked about it. Sounds crazy I know. It also was one of the few things that belonged to just me. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and all along I accepted responsibility and quilt for whatever the outcome would be. So oddly enough when I quit it was easy. Its been 6 months...no problem...but there are problems. It seems to be with my head, my attitude, my weight and my personality...they all are out of whack...and I do not like who I see.




         So now that I know, I do not physically or mentally like who I am...it is time for a change. Thus the reinvention of the Spirit. I need to break the chain of bad habits that I have formed that hold me to a particular mold. I need to go beyond what I would normally do and reinvent new things that are healthier for me both physically and mentally. So we began today with walking in the Mall. I do not know for sure how far it was maybe a mile or two...it wasn't at a fast pace yet...but it was the beginning. Instead of talking about it we actually got out and I did it....and I am happy I did. When we got back home I did a fast walk around our block...and it felt invigorating..that is what I am looking for. I am looking for the inspiration that was given to me today to carry me through tomorrow and the next challenge. This year is dedicated to change...and one way or another...I will.