The Perfect Gift...

Today is Mother's Day and yesterday I watched as the stores were full of shoppers looking for that perfect gift that would somehow express exactly how much you loved Mom....The streets were packed, the malls were worse. I myself after much deliberation trying to think what is that perfect gift that could say it all? What about flowers, jewelry, candy....all of them were terrific and satisfying in their own right but it still seemed a bit lacking.


After thinking about this for a while it suddenly occurred to me that I know what that perfect gift is...for me to my Mom it is us.. her children. She lights up when we are around. She is herself when she can fix you something to eat or just sit and listen as she relives the stories of her parents, family and our history. She is at peace when one by one her kids call or stop by to wish her a happy Mother's day. She is grateful to God to have been a Mother. It is at those moments that you have glimpsed the perfect gift. I am grateful to God for Mom and the gift that she has been to myself and my family. She is more than just a Mom. She is a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a good listener, an example to strive towards and my best friend....Happy Mother's day Mom...love you with all my heart...


I myself can truly say that the best gift God ever gave me was the ability to be a Mom. That was the happiest time in my life. I remember trying to do it all, make meals, laundry, run the kids to events, listen to their papers, help them learn how to be adults....good wives and husbands. It was a selfish pleasure that has touched my heart and if they only knew that they never need to look for that perfect gift...because I already have them.


I know someday it is inevitable that I will sit in a rocking chair with drool coming out of the corner of my mouth, but (oddly enough for me)...a smile. I know people will think I am demented, or lost in another world and they will be right. I will be lost in the moments of motherhood..and reliving that most precious time again and again in my mind.


To watch my children become parents is a humbling experience, many times you want to step in and say let me show a simpler way...let me help you..but instead it is now my job to observe from the sidelines and take pleasure in watching what they have learned be put into practice. I am proud of each and everyone of them and the families they are raising. I am sure as all parents and moms know..your children are the best...and why not they had us for teachers....I love you all and you are my heart and you never have to worry about that perfect gift, you already gave me all that I will ever need....


To Katie, Amy and Billy you are my life and Jono you are my future...Love to you all.....Mom.

Music that touches the soul

When I was younger than I happen to be today...I always wished I could play an instrument...My absolute favorite instrument is the violin. The closest I ever got was the guitar and though I tried and learned some of the chords, I could never master it. I am pretty convinced that musical talent must have skipped our generation.

I was thankful to see it in my children. I sat through many concerts of squeaky violins, brassy saxaphones and children with the hope in their hearts that they would be good....really good. Eventually the squeaks calmed down and the tune appeared, then the melody and before you knew it, the concerts I went to were amazingly professional and I was very proud of every note and the discipline it took to acheive them. I tried very hard to convince them to play the violin but instead we had coronets, drums, saxaphones and a bass. I was sure I would have my own band that could play whenever and your mind could wander to a serene place and the music would just play on. Not so much...now the instruments are gone..the drums long abandoned in the crawl space, the coronet...not sure where that went, the sax is on a permanent vacation to a friend's house that will never return and the bass is back at the rental shop. The only thing that couldn't be returned are the memories of listening to the squeaks turn into harmony, melody and a song that touched your soul.

Well now the grand kids are ready to begin that journey..and so this weekend in a fluke I caught a glimpse of a future star...or at least she believes she is. Here is Brooke doing her rendition of "Old McDonald" and playing her own accompanyment.

Now here is a picture from Easter and all my G kids. They also make a noise that can be music to my ears. It is now in their laughter that I hear the melody, their screams I hear the harmony and when all together they create the symphony that plays always in my head....my little musicians...

Brooke, Me, Andrew, Ava and Alana...Star material...

Friends, relatives and Memories

Did you ever meet someone who you could be in the middle of a conversation and walk away for a minute and 10 years later meet up with them and pick up right where you left off?? That would be my cousin Nancy. Mom and I went to California last week and returned home this Tuesday. We went to Riverside, California where Nancy lives for a memorial service for my Aunt Gail.

When we were kids we always took a summer vacation. We traveled this country many times and saw unbelievable sights, but there were a couple of years when we traveled to California to see Mom's family. Uuncle George and Aunt Gail, Uncle Angelo and Aunt Pat and Uncle Alex. Her brother Jim still lived in Illinois. Though California was full of movie studios, the beach, Disneyland and every amusement park it was the draw to Uncle George and Aunt Gail's house with Nancy and Chris. Now they also had 2 sons Steve and Ken but they were older and generally by the time I remember they were not living at home. Now here in Illinois most people have a dog either in their yard or in their house. The first time we went to my Aunt and Uncles it was very surprising to see in their backyard was a horse!!! Not many people had those at home and we had very little experience with them and they were a lot larger than any dog we knew.

To see Mom with her brother was always special and Aunt Gail was the life of the party, always laughing, telling jokes, playing the organ and singing. She was a bundle of energy and a party in a single person. Nancy and Chris instantly became your best friends and we would hang out and play together every minute until it was time to pack it up and leave for home. Many times we were in the middle of a conversation and it was time to go.....we left the conversation only to pick it up later in life.....those were some of the best vacations and memories that have lasted forever. This trip was harder because Uncle George and now Aunt Gail have both passed away and you felt their abscence. It was extremely difficult for Nancy and Chris and the entire family to continue on with arrangements and services when all you wanted to do was just absorb what had transpired. I have always believed and still do that we are the ones that mourn here and the ones that have passed are now celebrating and reuniting with the people that they love and haven't seen in a very long time. Aunt Gail and her laughter will always be missed but the qualities that she possessed she passed on to her children and through them you still get a glimpse of Aunt Gail. They are her legacy and testimony to the life she lived and loved here. She will be missed always, loved forever and a piece of our memories forever.

Mom and Elaine.

The whole gang...Aunt Pat with Mark, Matthew, Luke and Tina......

Steve and his son Steve.....

Just Mortar and Brick

Along time ago when we searched for for a house we had no idea how important that clump of mortar and brick would become. When we first purchased our house, that's all it was just a house filled with the hope that it would become for us our home.
When we moved in Katie was 4 and it was just her Father and I and a baby due within days and the sex was unknown...soon she had a sister, Amy and after adjusting, hanging pictures, eating dinners the house slowly started to become our home. It was amazing all I asked of this mortar and brick, it delivered. It protected us from the elements, it contained all the hopes and promises we had for our future and the future of the kids. It never seemed quite noisy enough and so along came Billy and finally Jonathan. The house finally seemed noisy enough.
It watched as the kids grew and we did as well, the house changed on the interior to accommodate all of our needs. The paint changed often and if the walls could talk the stories would be amazing. As the kids grew older, and I was the adult in charge, the house groaned under the pressure of repairs that were needed, and yet it was patient. I never thought of this as the home I would remember. I guess I always thought of that when it came to the house I grew up in. I remember once telling the kids that I was gonna sell this house and was completely amazed when they looked shock and told me "this is our home". I never thought of it that way. I guess I never looked at it from their perspective. That was a mistake.
The house has welcomed many people into it's stretched walls. Friends with no place to go as they worked out problems with their parents. Kids just in general that had no place to go. It gave them a warm place to stay as they pulled their lives together. It housed many pets who were in the same boat, some inherited some purchased..but always loved.
I have filled holes, painted walls and changed furniture so many times, you can actually hear the house groan when I think about a new color scheme.
Well the house has changed again this year. I have compacted my things and moved some to Mom's house where I live now. Amy moved out to an apartment in Elmhurst and is on her way to new adventures. Katie, Blake and Brooke and a new baby on way, have moved into that same house.
Again that mortar and brick will protect them from the elements, listen to their laughter and bring them comfort when they walk in the door and hang up the keys. I hope for them for however long they stay there that they will come to appreciate that a home may start out as mortar and brick, but it is your life story that makes it come to life with purpose and it will always provide for you a safe haven.
That pile of mortar and brick has done all that I have asked of it. It has been patient with a bunch of people who many times did not know what they were doing. It has listened to our dreams and has been a silent participant to them all. It has seen graduations, birthdays, weddings, funerals and grand children. When we are all there it groans but I believe it is pleasure and not stress. It always was a home just waiting for a family to fill it with memories.
Thank you that mortar and brick......that we call home.
I

Wow, it has been some time since I entered anything on this blog....well Happy New Year!!! This has certainly been the most bazarre beginning to a year that I have ever had. I thought I had the flu, and still to this day I am dealing with the fall out of medications, and still not really sure what the heck I've had or have. I did go to the doctor and I did have the blood work done and she is very anxious to see me because my cholestoral is high and so are my triglicerides....I'm not stupid, I understand the importance, but fix this problem first because I am not use to taking medications and I have enough in me to fight off the plague, which this obviously isn't because I still have it....anyway I have decided to heal thyself....and once cured then we'll talk about all those other life threatening diseases....
Though I had no intention of entering the Chunky Monkey contest this way....it does seem that it has helped me to jump start this diet. I have lost 15 pounds so far and I haven't been able to lose an ounce in probably 5 years or more.....and I am grateful...but it is only the beginning and I still have a long way to go. I would rather try the diet than this particular method. I haven't been able to exercise so pretty soon, if I lose enough I will look like that "Marge" character on the greeting cards. I've already got the dark glasses, cigerette and the girls are testing the lengths of gravity......
Congrats to Rick, Jim and Kathy....they have all worked hard and it is showing...Rick has been faithfully working out, Jim will be starting soon and Kathy has always been physically fit....no matter how this all turns out, we'll be able to stand proud for what we have accomplished and have a picture taken that is not a panaramic view.....
Wish I could say exciting things have been happening, but I haven't seen the little munchkins since Christmas Eve...Andrew is growing like a weed, laughing and cooing....Alana is loosing her bottom teeth and will turn 5 already on Monday...and Ava is just Ava.. Brooke is hanging in there as her family is in a momentary pause between houses and seems to be adjusting. Amy and Eric have moved into their new apartment and Katie and Blake and Brooke will soon be moving into my house....It really will be a new year for everyone......
Well this is about all I can write....the brain is on overload.......talk at ya soon...

Well as 2008 winds down, and 2009 is creeping around the corner, this is a good time to reflect on all that has gone on this year and all that we don't know thta's coming.
I welcomed in 2008 the same way I will probably welcome 2009..asleep..it seems to work for me. There is a saying that the way you spend New Year's Eve will be the way you spend your year. If that holds true then I will be babysitting alot with a cold....oh well....

I thought about all that transpired this year...Billy was newly engaged in January and was plannng their wedding for May. So much to do so little time. Showers, decorations, dresses, etc. Alana turned 4 in January and Jonathan would have been 23 in February. By March time flew and after everything was in order and the bridal shower was coming up, Mom fell and landed in the hospital for over a month. She got out the day before the wedding....I was grateful she was there and we celebrated the event and all went well....we then moved into the summer and Mom's recuperation, and a new baby on the way. Bill and Laura were expecting in November. Again, showers, presents, planning and waiting for the newest gift from God. July came and Ava turned 3, Brooke turned 2 and we spent alot of time on the deck enjoying Mom's yard and just long summer days.....summer turned to fall and soon November was here and so was Andrew..They were all excited and Bill and Laura have taken to three kids, two dogs and the holidays in the great strides.... We had Andrew's baptism, our family Christmas at Greg's and our own private Christmas at home....time keeps on rollin.....
It is easy to sit in retrospect and think about all the things that have happened this year and be truely grateful for the good fortune in a time when that word is almost extinct. Good health as we are on the verge of a new adventure to loose all the padding we have put on, for the acts of goodness we have witnessed in a time when the news is so occupied with all the evil around us...for a moment when a stranger changed our day with just a smile or a kind word, when we were there and made a difference in someones life, for all the miracles we witnessed and the ones that happened and we were just to busy to notice...This has been a busy and full year.

My hope for 2009 is good health and happiness for Mom as she still continues with her recovery, for Katie to be safe and out of harms way as she works in a dangerous environment and as she carries a new blessing into the fall, for Amy and all the excitement that surrounds her and to bless her hands as she touches and heals, for Billy to find the time to slow down and really watch Andrew and the girls grow...time is to short not to notice..For Blake to stop worrying about age....and just enjoy the place you are....you have so much to teach and share and age is only a number and most of us don't know what it is anyway.....Eric, be safe as he goes into school to become a Fireman, he will be the one who is there when you are so afraid and you call out in the dark...for Laura to be patient and enjoy the gifts God's blessed you with and for the time when you have a babysitter....For Brooke, Andrew, Alana and Ava...please slow down and don't grow so fast...be little just awhile longer as we sit and watch you....you have the rest of your life to grow, but for right now at this time, let us enjoy who you are and wonder about what you will become....let us love you unconditionally and let us be loved in return...

So as 2008 is almost over, it wasn't a bad year...and I hope that next year will be just as rewarding and I have been blessed, for myself I would ask to never forget to say thank you...to always have a spare moment for someone when needed, to be there for my children always and to enjoy and love my Grand children.......Love to my family you are always in my prayers...my sister and all my brothers and their families....you are a huge part of who I am and in my heart you are always with me......Happy New Year.....

Well it is now Christmas eve and all through the house was a buzz of excitement.....everyone gathered at (my house) Amy's house soon to be Katie's house...that's a complicated story. The presents were piled high around the Christmas tree and gift opening sure brings out the child in all of us. I believe I heard Blake questioning Eric about how long he has been in the family and the number of gifts he got....The day started with Katie, Blake and Brooke arriving first....Here is the ornament they gave me when they arrived....if you look closely though it is blurry you will see the first gift I received today.....???hummm????

I'll tell you what it says later......

Here is Billy and

Andrew...he is such a good baby and racked in quite the load (of presents I mean).

The kids made stockings with Amy and Katie. They decorated them with stick ons and glitter..good job...Amy then filled them with candy....

The kids waited patiently, even ate their dinner with the promise of gift opening if they ate all their food, which they did. There were dolls, strollers, baby toys, clothes, clothes and more clothes....I got a purse, my own "bags" set, a car kit, jumpers for my car, pictures of the kids, jewlery, you name it, I got it. I also received a book from Katie and Blake on family history which I need to fill out and return to them someday. I told them to just read the blog and that would suffice but I guess not. Well as soon as I start the "Arends Biggest Loser" contest I will have lots of time to write as eating will be a thing of the past.....anyway Amy did a great job hosting as she always does and I wish all my kids and grandkids a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...

In case you missed the message, see if you can figure it out, here is a list of my kids.....there is Bill and Laura, Alana, Ava and Andrew.....Amy and Eric......Katie, Blake, Brooke and in August around the 12th, they will welcome my newest blessing and this years Christmas gift.....Thank you God for the gifts you share and God Bless everyone....